Male desire

It’s surprising because it goes against conventional wisdom. We’re so used to seeing women’s bodies being the object of desire. It is important that those rules are reversed at times. We want our sex partner to give us a compliment (especially on our appearance), flirt, seduce or initiate sex.

This is something very important to us and initiating sexual activity is the ultimate, the most clear way they felt desired.

Men like when their partner gives them a compliment on their appearance, when they flirt or initiate physical closeness of some kind, or initiate sex.

It is really a vulnerable act for a man. It’s this idea of, “I want to feel close to you and I’m going to see if you say, yes, you want me, too.” They want that connection, they want to feel seen.

So when their female partners rejects sex, men feel like it was as if they as a whole person are being rejected because we are were getting so much more out of sex than pleasure.

It’s not to make women feel like they need to say “yes” every time they want sex; it’s totally OK to say “no.” But consider doing it in as kind of a way as possible. If there’s a reason that you’re not in the mood — perhaps it’s been a long day — help him understand that it’s not him. Recognise that maybe he’s looking to feel close and suggest cuddling on the couch.

If you’re the person who says “no”, it’s always a nice idea to be the one who comes back and suggests it at another time.

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