I am better qualified than a sexological bodyworker to teach you about sex because I specialise in arousing clients to orgasm. After 2-way touch sensual massage sessions, clients frequently share intimate details of their sex-lives and ask me for sex guidance. Kinkly have an excellent blog post on the rise of sex workers as educators. I am not a trained sex therapist and so can not offer such, and especially not around specialist areas such as trauma.
This in person, intimate workshop is for 2 people(partners or friends) and has a firm emphasis on innocent play and exploration - leave your "adult" life at the door and embrace sexy fun. I deliver it in a block of three hands-on sessions of two hours. You will schedule in your own sessions on the Booking Page.
In general, you must choose a mature coach with a decades of personal relationship experience over someone with a long list of academic qualifications and industry certifications but little and short personal life and relationship experience. Choose one that is happy working with men and women equally; picking someone who's not up to the job could damage your relationship.
It is important that you read more about me before going further and do look at the texts that have inspired my work and personal life.
I have made an informed(and perhaps controversial) decision not to be constrained by the arbitrary and conservative limits of The Sexological Bodyworker's Code of Ethics, in particular, the following paragraph that would artificially restrict our scope when discussing and agreeing boundaries. My reason is that at the end of my intimate, 2-way touch sensual massage sessions, clients frequently share details of their sex-lives and seek my advice.
"In group or individual sessions we remain clothed when touching our students and touching is unidirectional. We request that our students bring their partners when they wish to learn interpersonal erotic skills or invite them to share and learn with other students when appropriate"
I am, of course, entirely happy to agree to that clause up front because it is important that you feel safe, relaxed and comfortable with the level of intimacy. You are free to change your mind having met me though; it is your workshop.
Another important factor for you is that, because I don't have to cover membership fees and imposed "training" costs, I am around £300 cheaper for six hours of therapy with many more options for you.
When you come to me for sex coaching(or sensual massage) it will feel light-hearted, unashamedly sexy and exciting instead of clinical and we can explore your intimacy in real time, without blue gloves or me dressed, whilst you have your bits out! Sex stuff should be sexy. Importantly, it also gives you the opportunity to explore how you might feel about a group sex dynamic in the future. I need to state that I will never engage in sex with either of you - that is my firm boundary as I don't offer prostitution. You may choose to engage a prostitute to join you separately and I may be able to suggest someone suitable.
I will design the workshop around your needs, which we will discuss in a free, thirty minute video call over telegram.
And maybe what you really, really need too?
I will speak to you to you both for about 30 minutes(FOC) in a Telegram video call.
The price for this service is just £450 for a total of six hours.
Discussion of transparency, listening and acceptance between sexual partners in order to engender trust and closeness. Examples and exercises to demonstrate effective conflict resolution that brings your closer together instead of pushing you apart.
Discussion of the work of Dr John Gottman and his "Relationship Lab" to identify the key attributes of a strong and enduring partnership.
Discussion of "shadows" and "triggers"; what they are, how they affect our behaviour and what they tell us about ourselves.
The use of breath-work to to overcome our habitual the "fight-or-flight" responses to triggers such as being touched by strangers or asking for touch.
The orgasm gap refers to the typical difference that men and women experience in reaching orgasm. I will explain the science behind it so that we can explore any mismatches in your relationship and close the gap for you.
Being a sensual masseur, I have first hand experience with helping my clients reach satifying orgasms by tuning into what they need and adjusting my technique. I have had female clients who can't remember the last time they orgasmed, enjoying multiple peaks at my hands for the first time in their lives. I also know how to keep men who normally have problems with premature orgasm at the "edge" for 30 minutes or more so that they experience a full-body O for the first time.
We all have different overlaps between physical and mental arousal(concordance), with men typically at 50% and women just 10%. It means that women usually have more emotional blockers to be overcome before feeling horny enough, even though they tend to get wet and swollen fairly readily. It is much miss-understood by men and women alike.
I will find out where each of you sit in your non-concordance by asking you some questions and then talk about how your approach to sex might change to make things hornier in bed. I will demonstrate some hands-on sensual massage techniques to up your foreplay skills.
Discussion of The Wheel Of Consent then exercises such as the three minute game on the massage table.
Building trusting connection using eye-gazing and hands on chests
Exercises on the table to explore and discover how you like to be touched and where using various sensory toys and devices. Emphasis on asking for and giving consent to touch and be touched and giving clear feedback.
Exploration of your non-genital and genital, anatomy - naming different areas and locating and stimulating yours together(hand mirror for owner!). Learning and sharing what feels good for you by using feedback as you are touched by yourself and us.
I encourage you to show us how you masturbate as it is a valuable guide for your partner and to lead the following section.
Exercises in manual sensual/sexual arousal techniques with the giver using just their hands and body. I will share with you some cock, balls, perineum, prostate and pussy massage techniques you may not have used before and show how variations in what you do, how hard and how quickly are key to building arousal. Lots of lube is always key.
Exercises in oral sensual/sexual arousal techniques. Emphasis on gradual, teasing journey down, eye-to-eye connection, checking in verbally to find out what is working, praising the genitals, making sounds and variation of pressure and motion of tongue, teeth and lips. Use of suction and vibration of the lips to make a mouth "vibrator". Experimentation with cold and hot liquids in the mouth to wow your receiver.
Exercises in penetrative sex with a focus on maximising erotic sensations for your anatomy and fit together. Penis, vulva and vagina shapes and sizes vary enormously and so each coupling is unique.
Exercises in using cock-rings, vibrators, dildos butt-plugs etc during sex.
Discussing group sex; how to bring it up safely.
Determining whether your relationship is ready for group sex(see first section).
Using porn and fantasy sharing as a sexy way to explore it further.
Emotional and practical preparation together.
Finding people to do it with.
The danger of having too high expectations or acting independently.
Exploration of the importance of dominance and submission and why it is so important to heighten arousal and orgasm for most.
Play with temperature
Rough sex done safely, with an emphasis on clear consent
How Dirty talk before and during sex can boost your arousal and excitement by heightening expectation and fantasy.
Bondage, kink and role-play including the importance of sensory deprivation in foreplay and fantasy.
How watching porn and discussing fantasies is an important and normal aspect of communication within a healthy relationship, contrary to popular belief.
Discussion of jealousy and how it can be seen as an opportunity for growth and exploration instead of a destructive emotion that triggers crisis.
Cheating and how it can be overcome if the reasons it happens are explored instead of a focus only on agreement-breaking and betrayal.
Finding happiness in everything you do, including in your relationships is possible when you enter a state of "flow". Find out more.
Sometimes called the 4 Quadrants, or the Wheel of Desire. Giving, Receiving, Taking and Allowing - what they are, how the fit together and what they have to teach us about ourselves.
Find out why cuddle therapy produces the feelgood hormone oxytocin without sex and how it boosts wellbeing.
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