Everybody breaks the rules from time to time so must accept that there will be jealousy and anger but don't use it to judge others.
Own your own jealousy and discuss it openly and those feelings will get less threatening over time: you will probably never look back.
Think about this for a moment... Human beings most likely evolved to resolve conflict by having non-monogamous, recreational sex with one another and we still instinctively yearn for that. Our closest living relatives, Bonobos, display the same sexual behaviours as pan-sexual, poly-amorous folk do. Female Bonobos, like humans, also have pleasure-related sexual organs high up in front so that female to female genital pressure is just as satisfying as male penetration for most. This is important because it shows that female humans have probably evolved to bond with one another by having front-facing, eye-gazing"scissor-like" sex in addition to close-lying, male missionary-style penetrative sex where the pubic bone and penis root(it's good to have a decent hard-on), to provide external, grinding, external clitoral glans stimulation at the same time as internal, G and A spot(good to have an up-curved, banana-shaped penis) massage.
There is no evolutionary reason for the male P-spot to have more pleasure nerve endings than the penis glans, except to encourage male anal penetration. Anyone man who has experimented with P-spot massage enough until he has relaxed, will tell you that it is just how they imagine vaginal sex to feel - it is a true revelation and O-orgasms, as they are known, are often experienced over up to a minute and can be multiple. I have achieved this just once, with a prostate massage toy and it was mind-blowing, lasting over 30 seconds. Women have a much higher chance of orgasm this way too, with some 90% reporting regular orgasms. The reason here is probably stimulation of the upper vaginal wall and PS spots(much neglected), through the thin wall between. The "taboo" nature of anal sex certainly plays a role here too.
Conflicts are often resolved with sex in Bonobo groups and we see that between human partners too - make up sex is always hot.
In "modern", societies, when folk want to climb to the top of the social tree they seek to divide and rule and so they contrive ways to manipulate by stirring-up discord and fear of others. How do you achieve that with instinctively sexually open-relating animals? Convince them that "God" thinks they will be bad if they enjoy open relating and sex.
Hunter gatherer groups evolved to be non-monogamous because it is an effective strategy for females to ensure that offspring are looked after by all members of the group. No one knows who the father of any given child is.
Religion has always been the tool of these dictators. Just consider the hierarchical systems of Islam, Judaism, Catholicism which all promote monogamy and reject recreational sex. It is a form of abuse - a denial of our basic instincts and simply leads to people accepting and acting out fucked-up and abusive attitudes to sex such as the appalling sexual abuses within the Catholic church. No doubt the same exists behind closed doors for these other religions.
You have surely got my message now.Perhaps we have been living a lie about human sexuality for thousands of years - self oppression by consent. Religion stirs war and violence and has created the nasty world we live in. Open relating has always been there to sow the seeds of harmony and trust.
I have formulated a theory about why men have evolved a stronger desire for monogamy than women.
Sow your seeds and reap your rewards - maybe heaven exists here on earth? 😂
None of this is sourced from elsewhere except the 🐵 business. You read it here first, for all I know.
The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today's modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships.
Welcome to Poly.Land, where we try our darnedest to give the best relationship advice we can — regardless of your relationship style — and have fun doing it.
In Poly Land, we not only tell you that the emperor is naked. We take compromising photos of him while we’re at it.
Mostly, this is just a preview into the dirty thoughts I have that are finally making their way to written form.
My fantasies run the gamut of possibilities, but I have a particular affinity for situations involving multiple men with one woman, hotwifing, wifesharing, cuckolding, and the like.
Alice Hunter is a writer for the London alternative sexuality scene, examining issues in swinging, kink, LGBTQIAL+ inclusion and the endless hunt for utopia.
The guidance on how to obtain MFF (and its underlying message) is now largely complete as a stand-alone work, which is available at Unicorns and How to Hunt Them: Your Guide to Scoring Threesomes Like a Pro for Kindle.
Fantastic resource for everything that swings
Since 1987, I’ve been helping individuals, and couples, and poly groups explore sexuality, recreate a healthy sexual identity after trauma, as well as deepen their awareness and understanding about intimacy and relationships. I’m on a mission to bring sex and conversations about sex out of the shadow and into the light of day.
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