About James, the Brighton sensual masseur
Erotic Awareness Through Touch
I’ve always found deep joy in giving pleasure.
Long before I had the language for it, I sensed a circular flow of energy during intimacy—where giving and receiving merge. It’s something I now recognise as a kind of dance, and as an accomplished amateur dancer, I’ve learned to tune into the rhythm of others.
That same ability to synchronise guides my erotic touch practice.
My work is about helping people awaken their sexual self-awareness. Through skilled, connected, and non-judgemental touch, I create space where shame dissolves and authentic desire emerges.
You'll feel safe exploring your erotic self with me because I hold space with care, curiosity, and consent at the centre.
I’m pansexual, body-positive, and trauma-aware. My experience includes working with people across the gender and sexual spectrum, including three transexual men.
I draw from the work of experts like John Gottman, Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy, and Emily Nagoski, and I’ve learned about embodied intimacy with Rachel Rickards and Buster Radvic. But above all, this is an experiential practice—one rooted in presence, not performance.
Let’s explore the energy together. Let’s listen to your body’s rhythm, let's dance.
Personal journey
I have brought up a daughter and taught her about sex and relating. My lovely step-daughter refers to me as her Dad. I am a software engineer and ran my own business for 17 years before joining Natwest Group in 2018 as an analyst. I left that to start this career as I had always had a keen interest in touch, sex and relating waiting to be explored further and the bank didn't like that I was doing it.
I have had many relationships and pride myself on coming out of a 17 year one in 2019 with a determination to do things better in future.
Being an optimistic problem-solver, I also spent months (lock-down time!) reflecting and researching relationship and sex science, and can now say that I am a self-taught sex geek too. Most importantly, I accepted my part in not addressing the unhealthy dynamic sooner, self-healed and rediscovered self respect and emotional independence.
My gorgeous new Czech partner suggested I book a tantric massage in her home town of Prague in August 2019 and it blew me away; three hours of skilled, sensual touch with me as the focus of Alena's flowing sexual energy. She first took me to her favourite sex club which was a first for me.
I sought out tantric guide Michelle Roberton who helped me to realise the power of sacred sexual touch and how to open my mind and body to the powerful sexual energy I have.
Keen to learn how to give skilled, mindful touch, we sought out a couple's workshop in London via Killing Kittens with Intimacy Matters in October. I returned in January 2020 to train 1:1 (a Christmas present from her😍) and so SkinMap was conceived.
Experience since Feb 2020
190 clients have booked more than 260 sessions (as at 31/12/2024) so you can rest assured I've developed a unique, relaxed and confident approach to erotic massage and am incredibly skilled at teasing and arousing a wide variety of people.
The split of appointments is about 3:1 male to female, with the percentage of women steadily growing as they see more testimonials from female clients.
A significant proportion of male clients are bi-curious. It doesn't "make you gay" to enjoy male touch and does mean you'll feel proud for doing some key sexual self-discovery.
About 5% of bookings are from couples, MF and MM. Always fun and often the first, safe exploration of a threesome or cuckold fantasy.
Training
Sensual massage training was from Colin Richards of Intimacy Matters, London during January 2020.
A trained professional bodywork masseur, I completed my diploma in deep-tissue bodywork with Jing Advanced Massage Training in Brighton in August 2020.
Accessible to all
My prices are less than half those you would pay in London because I don't have the same overheads and less than 90 minutes from Victoria by train, the logistics are similar! For those in in "The Big Smoke" who don't have a spare £300 for an intimate massage, it is a no-brainer to book with me instead!
If you are on a low income, chat to me about price reductions.
If you can't manage to get onto the table I will simply arrange a mattress on the floor and adjust my techniques accordingly instead.
More questions?
You aren't alone and many prospective clients want to enquire further, so I offer the following channels:
- Ask questions not answered on site in anonymous Telegram chat
- Send me a message instead and I can email back
- Book voice or video call by phone, Telegram or WhatsApp (1st 15 mins credited against amount due when you arrive)
He loves me so much We laugh He is so intelligent I talk honestly to him Best sex ever I look at him and quiver He is adored by Bea [Daughter] We like simple beautiful things shared together He is HONEST We are free, not bound together He is relaxed with my plans He loves his own company
My girlfriend left her thoughts in my book🥰
Embodied intimacy workshops(I'm in the red shorts)
Weekend workshop, Berlin, August 2020
Weekend workshop, Berlin, October 2020
Important texts that have inspired and informed my work
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by C. Ryan
"Sex at Dawn challenges conventional wisdom about sex in a big way. By examining the prehistoric origins of human sexual behavior the authors are able to expose the fallacies and weaknesses of standard theories proposed by most experts. This is a provocative, entertaining, and pioneering book. I learned a lot from it and recommend it highly.” — Andrew Weil, M.D.
Reading this changed everything for me because it convinced me that plenty of recreational, non-monogamous sex is key to human wellbeing
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Sex Beyond Monogamy by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton
'The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today's modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships.'
This book was key to my understanding of how important open communication of desires is in any kind of relationship.
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
'Underlying almost all of the questions we still have about sex is the common worry: ‘Am I normal?’ This book answers with a resounding Yes! We are all different, but we are all normal - and once we learn this, we can create for ourselves better sex and more profound pleasure than we ever thought possible.'
This book informed my understanding of the myth that we all have a so-called "sex drive" that dictates our enjoyment of sex and ability to have orgasms.
Tell Me What You Want by Justin J. Lehmiller
'Reading [Tell Me What You Want] may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance' - Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate.
This book is a fascinating insight into sexual fantasies and transformed my understanding of why group sex seems so important to human beings.
What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John M Gottman
'A world-renowned relationship expert shares his research about love and what it takes to develop a trustful, intimate, and emotionally fulfilling bond.'
I was gripped by this book and the dedication of John to improving our understanding of relationships. He can predict with incredible accuracy how long any given relationship will last. You will thank him for his research.
The Threesome Handbook by Vicki Vantoch
Vicki interviews seasoned veterans of everybody's favourite group sex activity and finds out how to ensure it at least meets up to realistic expectations.
She even gives examples of threesome positions and grades them by joint orgasmic potential😁. I wish I had read this before our first foray but at least I can talk about it to you with experience now. My post on this
Books in my library
Books in my library
Books in my library
Self-confessed sex, relationship and sensuality geek.😚
Where will I see you?🚐🚂🚶
My comfortable treatment room at my flat in Brighton
My smart flat is by the Hanover area of Brighton (address provided in your booking confirmation email).
Enquire about me visiting you (can be London for 90+ minutes appointments). We would require a bed or comfortable floor space. This might be in a hotel room you book or at home.
On street, paid parking available via the Pay By Phone app or by card.
My doorstep is just 1.5 hours from Victoria or London Bridge by train. Make it part of a naughty weekend in Brighton with a partner or friend or just come down for the day - many neighbours commute to London daily.
#accessible #easyfromlondon
Click for approximate travel directions