Sex geek with a lot of cheek

I will guide you towards more sex and relationship happiness by growing your sexual self-awareness (SSA) through skilled, mindful, erotic touch. It is all about slowing down and enjoying the journey and taking focus away from an orgasmic destination so we can bring more innocent curiosity to our sexual experiences, then understand what makes us tick.

This is the route to better, fuller-bodied orgasms because performance anxiety and expectation diminishes, and maybe disappears eventually. My wider ambition is to help society become happier by confidently realising better quality sex and relating. Fancy being part of that? 

Most of us want to become more sex-positive so we can conquer shame around enjoying, sharing and discussing sex (including naughty sexual fantasies and kinks), but are unsure who to approach as our guide.

You will feel able to explore you sexual side alongside me because I bring my own, well-developed sexual self-awareness into our space.

I have chosen this work because I have a passionate, innate skill for giving conscious, caring, sensual touch without requiring to take sexual pleasure when doing it. Of course, I sometimes get aroused too and you might think me a charlatan if I claimed otherwise! I am not doing this work because it is a financial necessity.

I keep the space safe for us both by ensuring we are not "having sex" during non-escorting sessions because you accept or take "gifts" of pleasure from me and not the other way around. My understanding of the concept is demonstrated by my Wheel of Erotic Service. 

I am inclusive because I don't exclude anyone based upon their gender, identification, body or age because it is about your choice of my service, not mine of you as a client. Past clients include lesbians and transsexual men and women.

I keep our space sexual-politics-free and reject the idea that this profession should be "[led by women because of patriarchy]", as some practitioners openly profess (professionals must profess, right?). I am a humanist and give caring, conscious touch, whatever your sex.

I am well educated (undergraduate), securely attached, and knowledgeable. I admire, and draw heavily on the work of pioneering sex and relationship experts John Gottman, Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy, Emily Nagoski, Betty Martin and Dr Justin Lehmiller. I have learned about embodied intimacy with Rachel Rickards and Buster Radvic of Embodied Intimacy (as was) in Berlin workshops in 2020. I regularly post to my blog about all things sex and relating.

I fully appreciate the importance of helping clients to avoid unhelpful fight, flight or freeze states by engaging with the parasympathetic nervous system when presenting the idea of, and giving intimate touch.. As modern humans, this often misfires during sex and intimacy at just the times we need them to take a back seat; to "de-armour" our erotic responses and deep-dive into our experience with all the vulnerability and child-like curiosity required to make lasting changes.

How I differentiate between tantric and sensual

I have realised (though experience and reflection) that there is a big difference in intention between the two. In tantric, orgasm is never the intention (simply a likely outcome) as it is in sensual massage.

You might choose a tantric "vibe" with the intention of healing sexual blocks that are currently preventing you fully experiencing your sexual potential, improving not only your sex life, but your outlook on life more widely. You will, of course, create more opportunities for satisfying intimate connection by dating more confidently, communicating your needs, and therefore attracting lovers who can meet you in that assertive vulnerability too.

You might choose a sensual "vibe" if you want a more pleasure and exploration approach, with the intention of orgasm (should you choose). For example, you can book a sensual massage that has an intention of being edged, learning how to squirt, and/or trying out some new toys. Bring your own, if you like although I do have sterilised ones too of my own here.

I have brought up a daughter and taught her about sex and relating. My lovely step-daughter refers to me as her Dad. I am a software engineer and ran my own business for 17 years before joining Natwest Group in 2018 as an analyst. I left that to start this career as I had always had a keen interest in touch, sex and relating waiting to be explored further and the bank didn't like that I was doing it.

I have had many relationships and pride myself on coming out of a 17 year one in 2019 with a determination to do things better in future.

Being an optimistic problem-solver, I also spent months (lock-down time!) reflecting and researching relationship and sex science, and can now say that I am a self-taught sex geek too. Most importantly, I accepted my part in not addressing the unhealthy dynamic sooner, self-healed and rediscovered self respect and emotional independence.

My gorgeous new Czech partner suggested I book a tantric massage in her home town of Prague in August 2019 and it blew me away; three hours of skilled, sensual touch with me as the focus of Alena's flowing sexual energy. She first took me to her favourite sex club which was a first for me. I had to discover more and on return to the UK we sought out a couple's workshop in London via Killing Kittens with Intimacy Matters in October. I returned in January 2020 to train 1:1 (a Christmas present from her😍) and so SkinMap was conceived.

With about 150 clients since March 2020 and some 200 hours of hands-on bodywork, you can be assured that I absolutely know my stuff when it comes to intimate massage and have fully developed my unique, confident style.

The split of appointments is about 60/40 male to female. The percentage of women booking continues to grow as they see more testimonials from female clients. 

About 25% of male clients are hetrosexual and bi-curious; I have never had a disappointed client😏. Most "straight" male clients remain on my table in ecstasy, unable to use their legs for a while afterwards🤪. It doesn't "make you gay" to enjoy firm male touch and you are not having sex with me.

About 5% of bookings are from couples, MF and MM. Always fun and often the first, safe exploration of a threesome or cuckold fantasy.

A trained professional bodywork masseur, I completed my diploma in deep-tissue bodywork with Jing Advanced Massage Training in Brighton in August 2020.

Sensual massage training was from Colin Richards of Intimacy Matters, London during January 2020.

My prices are less than  half those you would pay in London because I don't have the same overheads and less than 90 minutes from Victoria by train, the logistics are similar! For those in in "The Big Smoke" who don't have a spare £300 for an intimate massage, it is a no-brainer to book with me instead! You can also enquire about staggering payment using PayPal "Pay in 3" (I must pass on the fee I incur over the normal cash payment).

If you are on a low income, chat to me about price reductions.

I dont' exclude anyone (trans-sex gender and lesbians very welcome) aged 18+ (proof of age required if you appear to be under 25). If you can't manage to get onto the table I will simply arrange a mattress on the floor and adjust my techniques accordingly instead.

You aren't alone and many prospective clients want to enquire further, so I offer the following channels:

• Ask questions not answered on site in anonymous Telegram chat
• Send me a message instead and I can email back
• Book voice or video call by phone, Telegram or WhatsApp (1st 15 mins credited against amount due when you arrive)