Stay safe and enjoy respectful relationships
This is possibly the most important aspect of enjoying your sex life. You cannot relax and lose yourself in shared pleasures unless you feel safe and have clear agreements.
With the Coronavirus pandemic, For now, I advise that you stick to monogamous sex with a monogamous friend or partner. It's not forever!
Agreements
Ensure you are looking after yourself and everyone you have fun with.
- If you have a partner, ensure you have no unexplored jealousies, whether or not you engage with others
- Agree your boundaries with everyone and try to keep within them
- Be honest and transparent. Agree with everyone what needs to be shared and not. For example, if you have sex with someone else, and that is outside of your open "boundary agreement" with your partner, you might send a text to your partner immediately and say "I'm sorry but I just had some penetrative sex my love - when I realised what was happening I withdrew and so didn't come inside. I did have a condom on! We agreed it might happen for either of us in the heat of the moment! I am letting you know now immediately. We can discuss it calmly later whilst we hold hands naked in bed and share our feelings and next actions. I am saying all of this so we can move on without jealousy or miss-trust - I know you would do the same for me. I love you and you remain my one and only emotional partner x"
- If you have rules around sharing photos or video then absolutely NEVER break them. This could spell the end of your exploration
- Be respectful to all of your sexual partners/playmates. Respect their wishes and never force anything they don't want. No means no
- Constantly check in with your partner to see they are happy with the relationship especially if you involve others in your sex. "Can I have sex with this person" should be something you should ask if that is your rule, for example
- Do not do anything you don't want to. For example, if you hate the idea of anal sex then say no, unless you realise you are actually enjoying it, then just respond...
- Get regular STI/HIV checks if you are having oral or penetrative sex with anyone outside you main relationship, or if your partner is. This is irrespective of whether you use protection.
- Have fun and keep it non-emotional with anyone outside of your agreed emotional relationship(s). If you are upset at the prospect of them ending the friendship without reason then you have broken this rule already - end the friendship and discuss it with your emotional partner(s). Open relationships and swinging may not be for you.